2018
wake up feeling sick after a late night of playing video games
excited to play some halo 2k19
“xbox on”
…
“XBOX ON”
"Please verify that you are “annon332” by saying “Doritos™ Dew™ it right!”
“Doritos™ Dew™ it right”
“ERROR! Please drink a verification can”
reach into my Doritos™ Mountain Dew™ Halo 2k19™ War Chest
only a few cans left, needed to verify 14 times last night
still feeling sick from the 14
force it down and grumble out “mmmm that really hit the spot”
xbox does nothing
i attempt to smile
“Connecting to verification server”
…
“Verification complete!”
finally
boot up halo 2k19
finding multiplayer match…
“ERROR! User attempting to steal online gameplay!”
my mother just walked in the room
“Adding another user to your pass, this will be charged to your credit card. Do you accept?”
“NO!”
“Console entering lock state!”
“to unlock drink verification can”
last can
“WARNING, OUT OF VERIFICATION CANS, an order has been shipped and charged to your credit card”
drink half the can, oh god im going to be sick
pour the last half out the window
“PIRACY DETECTED! PLEASE COMPLETE THIS ADVERTISEMENT TO CONTINUE”
the mountain dew ad plays
i have to dance for it
feeling so sick
makes me sing along
dancing and singing
“mountain dew is for me and you”
throw up on myself
throw up on my tv and entertainment system
router shorts
“ERROR NO CONNECTION! XBOX SHUTTING OFF”
“PLEASE DRINK VERIFICATION CAN TO CONTINUE”