If you wait too long, it might become biologically impossible. Biologically, the best age for kids is between 20 and 35. After that, there is a sharp decline.
And there is never 100% readiness, nor 100% certainty that you want it. Especially not while you are that young.
A sad number of folks I know are in their 40s, and struggling to convince. They wanted to be 100% ready, then build a large family. And now it’s too late.
So if you are in a position where you can have kids, and think you want kids, you should probably go for it. Even if you aren’t 100% ready yet.
Having kids is a life-long commitment. Not having kids is simply the absence of said commitment. IVF and adoption are also always options, even after conceiving children becomes nonviable.
The bigger picture is: you can’t do everything in life, and often, the dreams you envision aren’t as romantic as a daily reality as they seem in your head. It’s okay to give up that option of a future permanently. There are tens of thousands of opportunities to add to your life, big and small. You will never even attempt most of them, and that’s okay. There is no syllabus or checklist or achievement board to fill out in life, unless you make one.
Having kids isn’t a hobby you can put down for a month, nor a job you can quit. You should absolutely be 100% on-board before having kids, and if you aren’t, don’t gaslight yourself into thinking you are.
If you are getting too old to conceive, your chances with IVF decrease similarly. It’s technically possible with egg donations. But that’s illegal here.
So yes. Not having children at some point is also a lifelong commitment. At least if you are a woman.
Children are definitely not a hobby you can just put down for a month. But being 100% on board just isn’t how the human psyche works. People will always doubt themselves in everything.
I’m not saying to have children on a whim. But shouldn’t wait until you both earn 6 figures and have paid off your mortgage either. Just be certain beyond reasonable doubt, that you want kids, and that you can afford them if you live a frugal lifestyle. Most doubts probably aren’t reasonable.
If you wait too long, it might become biologically impossible. Biologically, the best age for kids is between 20 and 35. After that, there is a sharp decline.
And there is never 100% readiness, nor 100% certainty that you want it. Especially not while you are that young.
A sad number of folks I know are in their 40s, and struggling to convince. They wanted to be 100% ready, then build a large family. And now it’s too late.
So if you are in a position where you can have kids, and think you want kids, you should probably go for it. Even if you aren’t 100% ready yet.
Having kids is a life-long commitment. Not having kids is simply the absence of said commitment. IVF and adoption are also always options, even after conceiving children becomes nonviable.
The bigger picture is: you can’t do everything in life, and often, the dreams you envision aren’t as romantic as a daily reality as they seem in your head. It’s okay to give up that option of a future permanently. There are tens of thousands of opportunities to add to your life, big and small. You will never even attempt most of them, and that’s okay. There is no syllabus or checklist or achievement board to fill out in life, unless you make one.
Having kids isn’t a hobby you can put down for a month, nor a job you can quit. You should absolutely be 100% on-board before having kids, and if you aren’t, don’t gaslight yourself into thinking you are.
If you are getting too old to conceive, your chances with IVF decrease similarly. It’s technically possible with egg donations. But that’s illegal here.
Adoptive parents may also only be at most 40 years older than the child. So if you are older than 40, you at least can’t adopt an infant. Only older kids.
So yes. Not having children at some point is also a lifelong commitment. At least if you are a woman.
Children are definitely not a hobby you can just put down for a month. But being 100% on board just isn’t how the human psyche works. People will always doubt themselves in everything.
I’m not saying to have children on a whim. But shouldn’t wait until you both earn 6 figures and have paid off your mortgage either. Just be certain beyond reasonable doubt, that you want kids, and that you can afford them if you live a frugal lifestyle. Most doubts probably aren’t reasonable.