Obviously this is a broad and controversial topic (especially since I’m asking about both on and offline) but as individualism and isolationism seems to be increasing in the western world, I’m wondering what can be done and what others have done to counteract this trend.
Edit: Obviously, there’s broad things like participating in hobby groups or being nice to neighbours, but I’m especially interested in discussion of specifics, such as ways to set up these groups, organisational structures, or ways to expand connections from a hobby group beyond just the hobby.
I don’t have an answer, but want you to know I’ve been wondering about the same thing.
I think for me it’s going to be about music–finding other musicians to hang with and make music with.
But I absolutely agree, society is collapsing to a collection of disconnected individuals (easier to control and manipulate).
If you want the science on it, the ur-text is Bowling Alone.
if you want to go back to 1950-1970 bowling alley communities you have to have a lot of social conformity.
disconnected individuals have way more freedom in how they live their lives that those who are bound but the social rules of a community. the stronger/tighter the community, the more strict the rules.
you can’t have it both ways. belonging comes with having to sacrifice your sense of individuality.
That’s certainly a dynamic at play; I often think about how Japanese society has a lot of things I like, but the costs are hidden from view.
But I think Western society has kind of gone off a cliff as far as the individual-community goes; there is very little social glue anymore, and the problem is if you want community, you need to find others who also want community, and people are busy trying to fuck or work or raise children and don’t have space for anything else.
Religion, which used to bring disparate groups together, is increasingly politicized and polarized–which speaks to what you’re talking about, but it didn’t always used to be that way.
Just saying, I think there’s something deeply wrong, and it’s new, and it’s getting worse and not better.
I don’t really think it’s wrong or right, to me it’s a ‘choices and consequences’ dynamic. I don’t like the moralizing that goes on about it, because I don’t think folks should be shamed for having or not having community or wanting or not wanting it.
But that’s not a popular way of thinking or looking at the issue. You bright that up and people get really angry with you, because human beings seem to think choices should be consequence-free.
And frankly, as a person who isn’t polarized… holy shit it’s like very hard to socialize at all if you aren’t also polarized. So many people I meet now, basically want to know how if you are ‘on their side’ and if you aren’t, they hate you. It’s insane… our social lives were not like this a decade ago. I used to have so many friends of different beliefs and religions and politics… and now that’s basically not possible because people have been brain washed into thinking anyone who isn’t exactly like them is EVIL and OUT TO GET THEM.
Personally I just kinda socialize less and less because it’s just not worth being around so many folks who are just perpetual miserable and angry and who only seem to be able form communities based on grievances about other people. God, I was part of a community garden two years ago, and I quit after a few months because so much of the community was based on being angry and bitter about ‘bad people ruining our garden and the evil city government trying got destroy us’. I was hoping to like just chill and learn about growing plants better.