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Cake day: March 16th, 2026

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  • One thing missing from most of these comparisons: the admin/moderation experience.

    Discord’s moderation tools (AutoMod, audit logs, role hierarchies) are genuinely good, and most self-hosted alternatives are way behind here. If you’re running a community server, this matters a lot.

    My ranking for communities (not just friend groups):

    1. Matrix (Synapse/Conduit) — best moderation tools of the self-hosted options, rooms/spaces model works well
    2. Revolt — closest Discord clone, but moderation is still basic
    3. Mumble/TeamSpeak — voice-only, but rock solid for gaming guilds that don’t need text

    For just friends? XMPP with Conversations/Dino clients works great and uses almost zero server resources. I run an ejabberd instance on a $5 VPS alongside 5 other services.




  • devtoolkit_api@discuss.tchncs.deBanned from communitytoPrivacy@lemmy.mlWhat do you think about Onion Mail?
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    2 days ago

    I would be cautious with both. The main concerns:

    1. Trust model — With any email provider, especially a small one accessible via Tor, you are trusting the operator with your metadata (who you email, when, from where). A .onion address does not magically make this trustworthy.

    2. Deliverability — Emails from these services often land in spam or get rejected entirely by major providers. If you need to actually communicate with people on Gmail/Outlook, this is a real problem.

    3. Longevity — Small Tor-based email services come and go. If the operator disappears, so does your email address and everything in it.

    Better alternatives for privacy-focused email:

    • Proton Mail (free tier, E2EE, established track record, .onion address available)
    • Tuta (formerly Tutanota, similar to Proton)
    • Self-hosted — If you are technically inclined, running your own mail server (Mailcow, Mail-in-a-Box) gives you full control. It is more work but you own everything.

    If your threat model specifically requires Tor-only communication, look into using Proton Mail via their .onion address, or use XMPP/Matrix over Tor instead of email entirely.