Velma

It depends on your community. My friend group knows we’re kind of open. My parents and family don’t know anything about our sex life. It just depends.

We use these terms for relationships within the kink and poly communities to signal to each other what our relationship statuses are. It’s not for the average person one runs into on the street.

I honestly just searched for it because I have never heard the term polysexual applied in this way. I also wasn’t trying to imply that polyamorous people engage in one night stands and casual sex, either, but you read into that as well.

I’m bisexual, I’ve been involved in the kink, poly, and LGBT+ community in my area for a long time. I wasn’t trying to “no homo” anything, I just prefer using the term monogamish to describe my current relationship because that describes it really well:

First coined by legendary sex columnist Dan Savage, “monogamish” refers to a relationship style wherein mostly monogamous couples choose to have extra-relational sexual experiences, often sparingly and with strict boundaries that only allow for non-monogamous activity under very specific circumstances.

polysexual

Polysexual individuals are those who are attracted to people of multiple genders. Notably, the prefix “poly” means many.

People who identify as polysexual often use that word because it suggests a greater variety of sexual orientations than traditional gender binaries of male and female, or hetero- and homosexual. Each person will have their own specific preferences when it comes to who they are attracted to.

Isn’t that an attraction to all genders? Why are you so hellbent on defining my relationship boundaries?

I don’t think our situation falls into poly-sexual since it’s usually one night stand type of situations though.

Monogamish fits my relationship and it’s been a term in use for decades at this point.

I’ve had a lot of success on feeld, both as a unicorn AND a unicorn “hunter”.

Damn, deep fried snickers sounds so good!

Hah while I’ve been lucky enough to have had drinks at the Unicorn, I didn’t pick anyone up there! Mostly have met people through Feeld or friends of friends tbh.

Yeah pretty much! Monogamish is just a fun word to describe being mostly monogamous with a little bit of extra sex lol

There’s a lot of different relationship types out there. It’s not the same as saying I’m a vegan except when I eat meat. That’s like saying pescatarians are the same as vegans which are the same as meat eaters.

I’ve been in plenty of relationship models - poly, swingers, group sex, etc. There’s distinct differences that should be respected in each.

But we’re not poly. We don’t nurture relationships with other people. We’re just open to having sex with others on occasion.

Dan Savage originally came up with the term “monogamish”:

“Monogamish” is a relationship model coined by sex columnist Dan Savage to describe couples who are 90–95% monogamous but allow for occasional, agreed-upon outside sexual experiences.

Hopefully more women will join lemmy. It’s quite the cesspool in here.

I never said the men in my life suck, I said the exact opposite. Are you fighting ghosts? What’s happening here?

It’s not fair to edit your comments in an active conversation - I’m missing parts of your reply.

Where did I refuse to admit men can feel fear about women? Quote me.

I don’t think it’s impossible for women to present a threat to a man. The inverse is true though and pretending like men don’t pose a threat to women is being really disingenuous.

You’re just resigned that you will always be viewed as a threat even though you stay far away in public, don’t talk, keep eyes down, ear buds in, stay at home and hardly leave the house.

Not according to your original comment.

It’s not women’s fault that they make moves to protect themselves when out in public. ** It’s not a personal attack on you that women don’t want to be raped or assaulted.** Just because a woman may opt to ride with a female driver doesn’t mean that they refuse to interact with men in public.

The men that are in my life haven’t been in my life since I was born. How do you think men who have relationships with women (all types of relationships, not just romantic) do it? You cannot tell me that all men are cowering in their homes because they’re just so scared of women being scared of them because it’s objectively not true.

Edit::

You think you’ve thought this all through and I promise you haven’t. If you have you can tell me one objective fact that supports your stance. Else you’re just telling me you’re irrationally afraid and cannot articulate why. Because your fight or flight gets triggered when sense of identity gets challenged. It feels like someone if coming at you with a knife. That’s where hard internal questions need to be asked.

You’re putting words in my mouth. I’m not irrationally afraid of you. If women opting to protect themselves makes you feel like women are coming at you with a knife, that’s entirely a ‘you’ problem.

Reddit has women now. Ftfy

Not within my relationship, no. We talked about our boundaries and we’re both ok with the other having onlyfans accounts and such.

But we also are monogamish - we regularly invite thirds into our sex life and are more open than a strictly monogamous couple would be.

That’s interesting that experiences can vary so widely here. People are way more rude here, I’ve found. And way more sexist. Or at least more sexist on the surface. At least on Reddit you’d have to seek out incel communities to see the more depraved views about women.

Yes, but only because I’m trying to be more ethical about my porn consumption. I prefer to pay for videos directly from the actress and have found some great creators out there.