I’m a dude too just used the phrase primadonna there because my former co-worker’s tone was very much like, “Man up - you are being pathetic.”

I didn’t think a woman would have been asked to clean it up so shocking to hear that your ex was. The reason I’d assumed there might be a sexual element to it - aside from the fact they were literally masturbating lol - was that the culprit looked and sounded a bit like the Dean from Community. Can’t ever know the motive but maybe falling back on stereotypes is lazy

I’m sure the dude was back there doing the same the next week because the shop was so badly run.

You’re hired!

Munch’s The Scream with emacs artist-mode

I was expecting more comments like yours and less describing situations that I’d naively assumed only happened in pornographic media

Was asked to clean up jizz of the walls (plural!) of a TKMaxx (TJMaxx) changing room with a stack of blue roll. I was supposed to be working loss prevention at the changing rooms that day so pretty certain the weirdo was thinking about me cleaning it up as he cracked one off. Potentially had a couple rounds judging by the amount of jizz on the walls.

Should have quit on the spot but there were children/families in the changing room and felt like I needed to try to prevent a larger incident if a family barged into the poorly sealed changing room, or even just got bothered by the smell. I did quit that day though. One of my co-workers had a go at me on my way out the door for being a primadonna because she’d “had to clean up shit before”. Retail is hell.

Ladies and Gentlemen, presenting your new moderator of the antiwork sub

My friend worked at a Sky call centre in the UK where their entire job was to delay someone who’d phoned to cancel. He once convinced a legally blind lady to keep her satellite tv subscription and the call was replayed to other members of staff as an exemplary piece of work. He didn’t last long there.