Hey, fam! Check out !fedigrow@lemmy.zip if you haven’t already, we talk about this kinda thing a lot there. About a week ago I wrote down some thoughts on how to grow a community so that you’re not the only poster, it’s not exactly what you’re asking, but maybe it’ll be helpful:

. I like it a lot here but I feel like I need to engage a bit myself to create the great discussions I used to simply observe on Reddit.

+1

How to create great discussions on Lemmy?

I can’t tell about ‘great’ save that it has a lot to do with both the topic discussed and the people involved, but I consider being honest combined with 1) not being afraid (ie, no self-censoring) and 2) not trying to create polemics (throwing random shit knowing at least one will trigger some emotional reactions) as an excellent starting point to a potentially interesting discussion.

(Yesterday, I was reading (not commenting) a thread on some public transportation discussion. It was very interesting.)

Next to that, and equally important imho: don’t try to push new content for the sake of adding content. No matter how clumsy or simple, I prefer posts that the OP finds genuinely worth sharing or discussing with others. I don’t need to be entertained with constant new content. Like with eating, I prefer quality over quantity ;)

Can I reply after a day or two if I am too busy to reply immediatly?

Sure. Some like me won’t mind (I do that too) while others won’t like it, and some can’t even be bothered to click a discussion that is more than a day old. That’s fine. It’s their right to prefer freshness but they also don’t own Lemmy and they don’t get to decide how we should all use it.
Lemmy is ours to make it exactly what we want it to be. So, make if yours by answering/participating at your own pace :)

“How do I not poop for 3 days?”

Ask a decent question in a reply without engaging in argumentative fuckery, like appeals to hypocrisy, trying to be right via technicality or specificity, etc.

Add relevant info without the aforementioned arguments.

Add humor - hopefully without derailing the entire discussion like reddit does in a fight for upvotes.

I’m not really qualified to respond about creating great discussions because I pretty much just reply. But from the prospective of a participant, yeah I think it’s good to upvote any commenter that isn’t actively being a jerk. Even disagreeing comments can promote good conversation.

I wouldn’t suggest replying to every comment unless it contributes further to the conversation. That’s a judgment call, but posts where OP is replying to everything with “Thanks!” or “Yep” rub me the wrong way. Certainly reply to try to sustain conversation when there is more to discuss, and try to frame it in a way that invites not just the person you’re replying to but anyone to respond.

I think most topics are near death after about a day, but I browse by new and the only time I see more comments on posts I’ve already visited is if I get a reply or I’m looking through my comments later and open the topic to see what people said later. Topics that get more engagement live longer because a lot of people browse by hot.

Low effort to me is posting a link without summary or comment. The reality is unless the headline is a good summary or there is another comment or OP giving some context for why the link is interesting, I never click them, and then I have nothing to comment on either (usually).

Cross posting is fine. It’s slightly annoying when I’m a member of all five boards something is posted to but I’ve gotten accustomed, and sometimes the conversation can be different in different boards.

As far as Lemmiquette, I personally like people who stand by their words rather than deleting things that turn out to be unpopular. I don’t mind being the lone voice of an unpopular opinion. The threat of downvotes just makes me think harder about whether what I want to say is important to say right then and there and if I have time to back up any pushback. I don’t disagree as often as I want to, but I generally don’t delete comments unless it turns out I was really misreading something and responding to something in my own head rather than in the post/comment.

Make sure fediverse links are properly formatted so they go to the user’s instance cache instead of a direct url to the host server.

I am very quick to block folks I don’t think I can have a fruitful conversation with in good faith. I suspect as a poster, one would want to do less blocking than I do, but still I recommend doing it for peace of mind. Negative engagement or returning bad behavior just winds up making you look bad. A block prevents you from being tempted to respond to incendiary comments.

Oh and from personal experience, saying “I agree with 95% of this, but let me respond to this one thing where I disagree” is read as being an absolute refutation and can provoke defensiveness. Try to at least quote some of the stuff that you particularly agree with to take some of the bite out of any disagreement. Some day I’ll learn that better.

Good luck!

Looks like you’ve started some good conversations here! Keep up the good work!

Etiquette made me think of reddiquette. Which was a big thing back in like 2010. Then silently disappeared over the years. Amuses me to think of something called lemmiquette.

I mainly just talk about things I’m genuinely interested in. That makes me naturally more conversational in my posts, comments, and replies.

When someone replies to me, I want to acknowledge their contribution, so I try to at least say something relevant to their comment. Hopefully it’s something that can get another reply out of them or someone else, but you at least want them to feel their comment was appreciated more than just an upvote or a one word response. I think that encourages them and others to comment again, as even if you can’t add much to that current thread, you show you’re there and open to conversation and that you are willing to engage if they speak up first.

I will reply to people that comment on my old posts because I’m still interested in the original topic (I posted it after all!) but if I’m reading someone else’s post and it’s much over 24 hours old, I’m usually assuming they’ve moved on unless others are still interacting with it as well.

• Find a niche that you have insight in that might interest the virtual crowd, such as pointing out small details in art or photos that a layperson might miss that may be part of your interests, such as identifying unique machinery or mentioning what a potential “easter egg” might be referencing. In my experience those comments usually lead to interested people asking for more about the detail or sharing their own interests in the subject. Alternatively, you can also just provide a funny quip or some background knowledge on some random post you found. That works too.

• Not really, but usually when you just upvote someone they tend to not realize you were the upvoter (although people do appreciate upvotes). Replying thanks usually isn’t problematic, and can brighten someone’s day.

• Probably? Unless the post has a lot of activity over several days you probably won’t get any engagement other than upvotes/downvotes tho.

• AI slop, reposts from other websites with visible watermarks or are compressed to high hell, copying a post from one community and posting it to another (just link the post instead).

• See above, but if it’s in a relevant community, it’s appreciated more often than not :)

• It’s the internet, and we’re not your parents. That being said, just realize someone may be confused rather than engaging in bad faith with you over a topic, and try to avoid feeding the trolls (just report them or block them when visible). On top of that, usually there is a human on the other end, and we do have a wide range of worldviews here - if you seem to be in a place that doesn’t seem like a friendly place to chat, might be a sign to just leave that community and find an appropriate alternative. (But do try to report obvious bots, AI slop, and people who take things a bit too far).

• If you are a rookie realize that people will judge you for a young account age, since you could be seen as a bot. Nothing personal. Lurk more, and post when you got something prepared to say :)

• Start a dicussion about something you actually want to discuss
• No, you also dont need to upvote everything but to leave it completly abadoned is also not a good option. With time you will learn to better manage that
• Yes, its better earlier but as long as it its not a week it should be fine
• Cross posts should make sense and not spammy
• Depends on instance and comminity
• you could start with a crappy drawn meme or something “tame” and easily liked to got used to posting

I think a big issue now is things have changed. IMO over the last few years some internet users have leaned into self censorship and started to realise how much of a commodity our privacy is, therefore I suspect a lot less people will engage in meaningful discussion. People will usually stop and help but that’s more of a when pushed rather than just heading in to share anything or everything.

I personally feel the old days of internet debate that are genuinely human; are gone. Anything that gains attraction is infiltrated by bots, AI or those with an agenda.

At risk of oversimplifying, I think you should just post things that interest you and join discussions where you have something worth saying. Sometimes there won’t be any conversation, because the fediverse is relatively small, but conversely you never know when some super niche subject will happen to be someone’s interest, or their area of expertise.

Don’t worry about it, just say what comes to mind

So my question is:

• What are your advice on how to properly start discussions and keep them going?

Find an instance that is about things you like and post things. I enjoy movies, TV shows and Lacrosse. So I post things on those instances. I post anything I want about those things. Sometimes people respond sometimes people don’t.

REMEMBER PEOPLE WANT YOU TO POST THINGS

• Do I have to respond to every comment? Or is a simple upvote enough to thank them if I have no further questions?

I always try to respond to all comments, provided the comment is substantive. If if is someone just posting a dismissive comment, than I ignore those.

• Can I reply after a day or two if I am too busy to reply immediatly?

I will generally reply immediately for a few hours, depending on my availability and then responded less as the post ages. The nice thing about the Lemmy inbox is that it lets you know when new responses are done.

• What is considered low effort?

That is entirely up to the reader to define.

• Are cross-posts appreciated or considered rude?

See my remember point above

• General Lemmy-etiquette

That is so nebulous that it is correct to say there isnt any.

• And anything else you might consider helpful for a rookie or you want to see more often in posts.

REMEMBER THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS PLACE IS TO POST THINGS