Basically just something people say that indicates a position indirectly, like how seperatists from a given region might always say they’re from [region] and not [country] or how trump supporters call AI “SI” now.

  • zoloftt@lemmy.world
    227·
    7 天前

    I’ll contribute. I refer to my wife as my “partner”.

    People on the left just continue conversation no problem. People on the right pause and you can see the wheels turning.

    I’m a white not very masculine male.

    • Katana314@lemmy.worldEnglish
      50·
      7 天前

      “No, don’t worry, Mr. Conservative. I’m male, she’s female, your norms aren’t being broken yet.”
      “…Yeh, but partner implies she’s your equal. That don’t sit right.”

    • Blisterexe@lemmy.zipOP
      671·
      7 天前

      Very good example, thank you, whenever someone says “partner” I immediately assume they’re at least somewhat woke.

    • Lovable Sidekick@lemmy.worldEnglish
      8·
      6 天前

      Another white not very masculine male here - which I think is every bit as normal as being a woman who isn’t an insanely hot babe. It’s weird when things that are almost fringe become unattainable standards for a vast majority who really have no reason to feel inadequate.

      • zoloftt@lemmy.world
        6·
        6 天前

        The “white not very masculine male” piece was added to highlight that some people make assumptions about my sexuality when I use the word partner.

        I’m plenty confident and happy with myself. I’m pretty fit, just not big.

        I’m happy to give out hugs though! The marketing world is hell bent on making people feel inadequate so I understand your sentiment.

    • kestrel7_7@lemmy.world
      9·
      6 天前

      I do this. Someone called me out for pretending to be gay. Stolen valor!

      I was just like. Sorry? I tried to be inclusive. Oh well, can’t win 'em all.

      • zoloftt@lemmy.world
        3·
        6 天前

        I’m sorry to hear that :( some people can’t be happy unless they’re angry at someone I guess.

    • pHr34kY@lemmy.world
      827·
      7 天前

      The first time a friend referred to me wife as my “partner”, I questioned his choice of words because he was well aware that I’m not gay.

      Like, I would still just carry on in convo, but if I hear “partner”, I make a mental note that they’re gay. The correlation has close to a 100% hit rate.

      • zoloftt@lemmy.world
        22·
        7 天前

        You know what’s funny about that? A lot of my hetero friends also say partner.

        I started using it because it removes the baggage that gendered terms carry. My wife is my best friend. I like to do everything with her. We split chores pretty evenly.

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
          3·
          6 天前

          Whereas, especially since gay marriage has been legal here a lot of gay couples very intentionally use wife/husband because of how hard the fight for that was

        • mrgoosmoos@lemmy.caEnglish
          4·
          6 天前

          yeah we started using it because we were past dating, but not married. it seemed appropriate.

          • shalafi@lemmy.worldEnglish
            2·
            6 天前

            Yet another use case! Not sure I’ve heard it that way in my area, not much anyway. Even us old folks say “girlfriend”/“boyfriend” if unmarried.

        • shalafi@lemmy.worldEnglish
          13·
          6 天前

          A lot of my hetero friends also say partner…

          …in my region of English speakers.

      • BurgerBaron@quokk.auEnglish
        28·
        7 天前

        Hetero people who don’t believe in marriage and/or don’t like husband/wife titles sometimes use titles like partner too because girlfriend/boyfriend doesn’t sound serious enough I guess. Common amongst my social circle but I get why it’s usually a dog whistle.

      • WesternInfidels@feddit.onlineEnglish
        16·
        7 天前

        Online, at least, I’ve probably heard more hetero people than gay people use “partner.” In some cases they were in fact perfectly conventionally full-blown married, they just weren’t interested in sharing any more details than they had to to tell whatever story they were telling, because that detail wasn’t important for the story.

        • pHr34kY@lemmy.world
          75·
          6 天前

          That checks out. You’d use the term to be deliberately vague. Online, you’d be giving away your gender and marital status to the scraperbots. In person, a vague response lands differently. Particularly when speaking one-on-one.

      • BreadOven@lemmy.world
        9·
        6 天前

        I know many (myself included) who are in heterosexual relationships and say partner due to not being married. It’s a pretty common thing…

          • Cethin@lemmy.zipEnglish
            1·
            5 天前

            Well people who aren’t speaking English probably aren’t using an English word, yeah. No shit.

      • shalafi@lemmy.worldEnglish
        45·
        6 天前

        Same. You’re getting downvoted because lemmy cannot allow for regional language distinctions. Not even different countries, regions. It’s a big world.

        No one where I’m at would refer to a married couple as partners. Nothing wrong with that, but it usually connotes a gay relationship.

        • zoloftt@lemmy.world
          6·
          6 天前

          I promise you it’s not that. It’s the way that individual wrote their comment. Like it was offensive to be considered gay. Why does it matter?

          And you keep trying to tie it to a region. I think the only “regional” distinction you can make is rural vs anywhere else. But that’s more population density related not regional. It’s not really a pop vs soda situation.

          Maybe you and this other person should reconsider your assumptions about the usage of the word “partner” hahahaha.