Many of us on platforms like this are introverts, or autistic, or have social anxiety, or for whatever reason, have trouble meeting new people or engaging with strangers. If someone wanted to engage you in conversation, what topic would you be happiest to talk about?
I’ve thought about it a bit. Someone talk to me about WavPack. I fucking love WavPack! It is the best lossless audio codec.
My most recent meaningful conversations at the bus stop in the past year were:
- Maslow’s hierarchy of needs with a middle aged gentlemen who struck up a conversation having seen my work badge
- a guy who’d had his phone stolen reflecting on the ways it had allowed him to be more mindful of his own thoughts and disengage from toxic people
- a homeless woman who lived at the bus stop for a while with her husband discussing her personal safety as a homeless woman (her husband needed to go do something that wouldn’t take long, and he had waited for me to come out and wait for the bus to go do it, and came back before the bus arrived).
And I made friends with the homeless guys outside my last apartment by stopping to pet their dog (and later stealing wound care supplies from work for it).
I find other people interesting for the most part, and have a large enough breadth of knowledge to at least ask interesting questions about most things. Tradespeople in particular know some fascinating things
I once asked a man in a work vest who was marking the road what the colors were for and he said the different colors were different utility lines (water, power, etc). My follow-up question was how he knew where they were and it turned out the pole with the paint sprayer also had a special metal detector that could pick up on each line’s unique type of tag.
And the guy who fixed my dryer had an utterly wild list of things that he’s pulled out of vents and explained that the little vent covers on the outside of the building were specifically designed to safely prevent endangered birds from nesting in them since they like the warmth but can get injured or damage the vent in doing so.
I generally find that tradespeople like being asked questions about what they do. I don’t think a lot of people ask. And if they don’t I apologize and keep it moving.
I’d like to talk about the awesome employment opportunity they have for me that pays decently, has good benefits, and is doing something beneficial for the world, hopefully nonprofit.
If that’s not an option, I guess cats.
Video games
food! food is such a great communicator of who you are and what you’ve experienced
The British have this down to a science;
- Start with pleasantries “you good?” Essential, always say “I’m good” if asked this or similar regardless of your mood, use tone to convey the actuality if you wanna be unguarded
- Talk about the weather
- End with the pleasantries, something that implies you will see em again, even if you know you won’t
Travel. Where are you going next, what’s your favourite country, all that. Met someone yesterday who’s going to Vegas, and has booked a helicopter trip to the Grand Canyon and tickets to a Barry Manilow show. She hasn’t been there since the 80s and is pretty excited. She and her husband usually holiday in Turkey.
Places. Where people grew up, where they have traveled, where they have lived. Maybe even where they would want to go. This leads to other topics and lets you talk about something not too personal to start.
Animals(pets or nature), woodworking, cars(anything with an engine), communication towers (climbing), fishing, movies,
I’m known to be a pretty good listener too, unless you ask my wife.
Television or music.
In this post: dozens of people not understanding the assignment and discussing ways they get out of talking to others.
People, this is why you’re depressed and anxious all the time. This isn’t identity and character, this is avoidant behavior. Challenge yourself, be that person in your imagination who does the approaching and striking up conversation, what do you have to lose?
i am not depressed or anxious.
I still don’t like talking to people, because they are boring and really selfish. I like talking to people who aren’t selfish and rude, who are doing interesting things, but those people are very rare. maybe 1/10 people I meet is worth my time, and maybe 1/50 actually is enjoyable and fun to be around such that I enjoy their company. I actively date, and socialize several times a month.
the more i socially isolate, the better my mental health and mood generally are. I absolutely loved the pandemic those were 2 of the best years of my life. I haven’t hung out or met anyone new in two weeks now and I am in a way better mood than I was around the holidays when I had to do a bunch of social stuff.
Linux for sure. There isn’t much else I could talk about for a while.
I like talking to people, I’m a social weirdo. But if you talk about french poetry rules or cats, I’m unstoppable. It’s easier to have a conversation about cats.
I’m definitely an introvert, but you could get me to talk for ages about my personal hobbies and interests.
Just ask me about space or rockets or airplanes or building trebuchets.
What, do you think, would be the worst material from which to build a trebuchet and have it still function?
I just saw a short video of a mini trebuchet. It was made from thin wood, like 1" by 1" and a 5 gallon pail. You just let it go and two legs sticking up at about 45°, hit the ground and make it flip weirdly.Really chuck that sucker pretty far, whatever they threw.
Self-hosting, Linux, video games, building guitar pedals, what books people are reading, AI philosophy, digital privacy and advocacy, songwriting, how meshtastic works, how to set up Openwrt router and if they want to use an antenna with me, and OS hardening.
I’m 45 / F and recently moved to a small town in the Southern US. No tech folks here.
