Zero tolerance era. Grade school (I think 4th?) I’m reading one of those books that’s just like “Medieval History” with a bunch of pictures and the history on what the items was. (I think this one was about spies or James bond or something). Kid comes up to me actively reading and says “I was reading that, you took it from me!” Basically escalates it to “I’m gonna fight you” and starts sort of dragon ball z style punching me in the stomach a bunch of times really fast. Parents told me not to let that slide and to fight back, so I cock back and punch him in the face. Right as the teacher walks through the door. I was in 4th grade, I didn’t deck the kid, but I did hit him. Whole deal, go to the office, explained what happened. “Zero tolerance, 3 day suspension”

Dad asks what happened, explained, got 3 days off school at home fishing and playing video games. Best time I had at that school, also completely broke my faith in that system, so win win.

“All the engineers said my “screen door on a submarine” was “stupid” and would “sink the ship”, so I fired them and hired new engineers!”

• CEO of now defunct “Screen Door Subs Inc.”