Lots of spanking involving hard shoes. Bonus that my sister and I had to pick the instrument of our prolonged beatings… and if we picked something ‘too soft’ our dad would get a much worse item. Never found out what it would be, but the extra level of terrorism was a nice touch.
Cold, distant mother who was not a victim of abuse as we were. She didn’t care what he did. Your classic malignant narcissist who was expert at praising herself in just about any conversation. ‘Oh you did well in that programming course you just took? My teacher told me I was the best he ever saw’. Both in reference to Visual Basic for an extra level of rank stupidity.
Both of them seemed to view their friends as commodities to be exchanged as soon as they lost their value or someone better came along. I can’t remember how often I got to hear about some ‘friends’ who they didn’t associate with who “didn’t know what they were talking about” in reference to some interest of one or both. Horse riding, wine tasting, etc.
I had alcohol poisoning at 12 due to both their view we should be able to drink at dinner (absolutely fine in a vacuum) but having the kind of friends they did at the party this happened at.
My mom tried to get me to at least puff on a cigarette when I was 5… I already thought her smoking was gross so I didn’t.
And my favorite was at 7 when I suffered a severe TBI that resulted in swelling on my brain and diagnosis that I needed surgery at alleviate it. My mother, a mildly famous biochemist who was conveniently anti science in most of her views, realized I need some veggie smoothies and psychic healing instead. Phew, good thing it doesn’t cause problems to this day almost a half century later.
Maybe that’s why I just shrugged when she died a couple weeks ago.
I’ve tried exceptionally hard to not be them, both in adult relationships and those with my stepdaughter and her kids. I’m not terribly close with the former by her choice (none of the family is as since she joined a VERY fundamentalist church and went all in on madness) but both of our grandkids are a nearly daily part of my life.
I completely forgot the cooking part in my unhinged wall of text!
My mother was convinced she was a celebrity chef (think early 80s version). She was not particularly amazing, just competent as one might expect someone forced to cook for a family would be.
Despite her obvious greatness in the kitchen, she refused to teach me (her oldest son) to cook. Nonsense about not having the patience to do so.
Oh wait, I forgot to mention that she was a college professor. Teaching a level 100 course in nutrition at the time (as a biochemistry professor…) and always claimed how much her students always loved her and called her their favorite teacher.
So probably as accurate as her claims of being a great cook.
Plus side is that I have become a decent cook and baker and while my stepdaughter had zero interest in either, both grandkids are really into it. And in their case, I started when they were very young and just tried to encourage their natural interests. Crazy how well that works.