An oyster
The town I grew up in is famous for them, we even learned about them in school but I’d never tried one
Finally decided to just before I moved away for university and eugh, salty mucus-y blob, had to spit it out again, poor lil guy
I adore oysters. You could have spat it out into my mouth and I would have eaten it.
Is this a service you offer for free?
For the price of admission and a belly full of oysters.
Imagine being a waiter in that restaurant
Only way I eat them is fried. Still not my favorite and kinda weird, but much less slimy.
Maggots. I’ve been chasing the high ever since. They were hiding in a pineapple flavored Swiss roll. I thought the maggots were coconut flakes at first. Pina colada is a good flavor. The maggots popping like boba didn’t set any alarm bells off. It was better than the usual coconut crunch. The maggots wriggling against my gums and tongue didn’t set any alarm bells off. It was the only time I ever chewed something that felt carbonated. The lone maggot crawling across my couch away from certain doom finally clued me in. Half of his platoon just got eaten and the other half was without a doubt up next.
The same thing happened to my mom at some point when she was a kid. For her it was an Almond Joy or Mounds, which let the maggots blend in even better. Is it a once in a lifetime thing everybody experiences or a generational curse? I feel cursed with the knowledge that maggots in the right context taste like the fuckin’ future.
It was the only time I ever chewed something that felt carbonated.
Reminds me of a Sardinian thing.
Maggots never looked bad to me. Anything plump with no bones is awfully close to a dish already.
Bro what the fuck did I just read?
hey bud I’ll bet your cum farts are pretty tasty ;)
i mean it sounds like they were actually kinda great and not disgusting tho…
what was your reaction once you realized? did you feel sick?
I felt a little unwell but didn’t throw up. I was more worried about any health problems you could get from eating maggots. I calmed my nerves knowing that maggots are used on gangrenous flesh and won’t eat living flesh. Felt kinda bad throwing the remaining half out though.
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Carpenter’s
THE MAGGOT
Come on now, Mounds/Almond Joy are my favorite. Sometimes you feel like a nut, never do I feel like a maggot.
So one time when I was in grade school I was like really into eating lots of boxes of raisins and everybody in the school gave me the raisins so they could watch me eat a bunch of raisins cuz we were like little kids and you know we’re stupid or whatever and I remember I was dumping each box one at a time onto my plate. Each one another set of raisins and I was getting picked to eat them and then when I dumped one box it came on a plate and it was maggots everywhere. Everybody was horrified because the realization sank on us. Every time you would turn a box of raisins just straight up in into your mouth. You might have accidentally eaten at magus. Some kids decided to try and capitalize and change my nickname to maggot man. But it didn’t really stick because honestly I was weird for a whole lot of other reasons and maggot man was like not really my fault anyway. So it wasn’t a big deal for me.
A particular man’s penis. I realized too late that he didn’t routinely clean under his foreskin.
Was it like parmesan or…?
Piss and stagnant sweat and more.
I don’t know if I ever would have gotten circumcised if it was my own choice, but one thing I’m glad for is it’s damn easy to keep clean.
It’s also pretty damn easy if you’re not circumcised
easy if you’re not
circumcisedmutilatedImpressive comment/username combo
Or more of a cottage cheese?
Oh god, I just remembered this one guy’s cum that always tasted absolutely, horrendously foul. Could not keep doing that.
My girlfriend-at-the-time’s dirty, dirty ass. Thought it would be like in my fantasies, where it tastes like candyfloss and smells like a Yankee candle. Nope. Shit. Just shit.
If you’re curious, shit tastes exactly as it smells. I wish I didn’t know that. Although I’m happy that now you, too, know that.
And she had the nerve to dump me later. I deserve a Nobel peace prize for not recoiling in horror and instead just powering through in silence like a fucking GENTLEMAN.
On the bright side, it became a great way to ensure future partners were cognisant of the issue. I’d drop it into the usual “what was your ex like?” gossip sessions that come with new relationships. It’s like saying “please wash your various holes if I’m gonna go rooting around in them like an ant-fiending aardvark” without actually saying it. A cautionary fable from days of yore to guide the next generation.
P.S. I’m still pro-anilingus. Just… clean the fuckin’ thing first. I don’t need to be picking dingleberries from between my teeth, thanks.
I have only experienced the smell while having sex. We went out and after getting home I guess she took a shit and in her drunken state didn’t wipe properly cause we went after it doggy style and my god did I smell some dookie. We were both drunk and, you know, I liked her, so I powered through it. But it’s still a very memorable night.
What the fuck
You literally ate shit?
human centipede.
deleted by creator
Cat treat. Ate it on a dare. It was fucking foul. 0/10.
I used to work in a pet food store and tried a bunch of treat samples we had. They’re not very good if you aren’t a dog or a cat, turns out
I remember a food chemist telling me that one of their hardest problems was making things that smell and taste good to dogs and cats, but didn’t smell too gross for the humans.
The smell of canned cat food makes me retch.
The stuff I used to give my cat was fine, but she had kidney disease now and is on a prescription canned-only diet. The new stuff smells gross and it makes her poop smell much worse.
It’s because they’re not giving your pets the same high quality food you get.
No, that was not it at all, according to her. It’s that things that smell really good to the animals don’t generally smell good to humans. She said it would be really easy to make food the animals would be excited about, but their owners would open the can and it would smell bad, so they didn’t want to buy any more of it.
You’ve seen them eating literal poop, right?
You think you get high quality ingredients in store bought snacks and candy ?
As a kid I took a swig off my Mom’s Coca Cola. She had been using the can as an ash tray. Puked for five mins and can recall that taste in a second as an adult.
Fresh ginger.
Your palate is weak and your bloodline will crumble.
Live ants.
This was 30 years ago. I lived on the second floor of an apartment. I left a half-eaten bag of Little Debbie chocolate donuts on the floor next to my bed. The next night, in a dark room, watching David Letterman, I remembered and reached for the bag. I was three donuts in before I noticed the slightly strange taste, and the ant crawling on my face.
Ants taste a bit sour and bitter.
Well duh. You didn’t cook em first
Formic acid is named after the scientific name for ants, and is also known as “ant acid” because they make it.
That’s probably the sour part of the taste you described, since acids tend to be. (Think citric or vinegar)
I didn’t put it there but when I was in college sharing an apartment with my brother and his wife they got a dog and when they got it home the instant it got through the door it beelined for my lap and slipped it’s tongue ALL the way along the roof of my mouth. Decades ago and I can still feel it.
Of things that were intended to be eaten, my friend in Amsterdam had some super salty black licorice. Don’t want to yuck his yum, but that shit wasn’t fit for human consumption.
Malort
Tastes like turpentine and grapefruit juice. The former I’ve actually tried accidentally… dipped my paint brush in my cup of water and took a swig of the other cup. Somehow, the malort was worse. Learned recently that they make a barrel aged version that they claim is
dare we say, sippable
We do not.
The grapefruit reference is accurate. I’d describe it as floor varnish thinner mixed with hyper-concentrated grapefruit rind. The interesting thing is the way it doesn’t actually smell that bad, but then it starts terrible and gets worse after a few seconds. I’m convinced there’s some interesting chemistry going on in there where it degrades into other chemicals as it oxidizes in your mouth.
The only remotely comparable flavor I’ve ever had is…
…Unicum, which tastes like a cedar chest smells, and I was more than a little afraid would make me go blind.
0/10 for both, would absolutely recommend if you want someone to establish a baseline for “absolute worst-tasting thing ever deliberately consumed that is technically meant to be consumed.”
Good God unicum is horrible.
Also Stroh80 is a good contender for worst drink. It tastes like kinder garten glue smells, and it lingers for the rest of the evening. I only took a sip while a friend of mine took a whole shot, and he said the whole evening every time he burped the taste came back
At uni, the go-to liquor at our events was made from malört and we would have shots of it served up. The taste is awful and it sticks in your mouth, I hated every single one but I have never passed it up either.
Somehow a friend of mine was convinced to try it, and now insists on taking shots of it every night out.
At least the taglines are accurate:
Malort: turning taste-buds into taste-foes for generations!
Malort: tonight’s the night you fight your dad!
Malort: these pants aren’t going to shit themselves!
Malort: the Gary, Indiana of liquor!
Dumpster juice. That’s the best way I can describe it.
Slug.
When I was small I left my kazoo outside in the yard, and then when I went to play it the next day, I learned the hard way what slugs taste like.
They’re bitter.
they do produce the slime as a deterrent, plus they are also likely filled with parasites too.
Ugh. Once when I was a kid I got the idea in my head to stick my face in between the couch cushoins and inhale hard. I still can kinda see the cursed salad I was spitting out for a while.
Fast food
This thread’s got me curious about what my dick would taste like.
this is how it starts
beware of the pipeline
Incoming back pain
My understanding is that it’s more like sucking a dick than like getting your dick sucked.
